Of youth, fun, & that special moment

"Your house transforms to a home, the minute you marry and your spouse moves-in" ... words of advice from the elders; usually to a young male bachelor, in Asian countries.

If you believe me, the word "home" holds a lot of transformational-gravity in the above statement. Among several other things, it means that you can no longer hang your washed-socks through the ceiling fan for drying, wipe the chocolate cream off your lips with a table cloth, keep magazines under your pillow, invite your friends for a late-night booze party, ...

Basically, it means that the male cannot, anymore, do anything that even remotely hints on bachelorhood.

Frankly, I think it should apply to females as well.
Jus' take a look at this gender: unmarried females glue to their cellphones like a lizard to a ceiling, carry the same handkerchief all the time - be it to an Ice Cream Parlor or a Cinema Theatre, demand that they be reminded about items on their to-do list at odd hours, have forsaken the art of cooking to the archival history books of a barren library, ...

Having said that, however, I must clarify that the wedding moment transforms the jeune filles too. But if its for good after all, I'm not sure.

Post-wedlock, they use their hubby's handkerchief irrespective of the parlor, the culinary activities of the kitchen are postponed till the weekend (or just Sunday mornings - to be precise), their phone bills are now paid by their life-partners, and their list-of-demands expands like a chewing gum pulled at both ends!

In western countries (aka. Europe and America), the "move-in" mostly occurs before marriage itself. However, the post-matrimony transformational changes are experienced by both, there too. Well, to clarify here, I do not mean that after marriage a Sprint (cell phone) gives way to a BlackBerry or that the Papa John's (pizza) becomes a Little Ceaser's.

Considering the global nature of the topic, let's traverse through its fundamentals as well.

There are, basically, 3 Fs that make-up a female: Fructose, Fashion, and Fun. Though we are talking about only the feminine gender here; I suspect that these building-blocks are the ones actually responsible for the transformation per se.

Fructose is a constituent of sugar that provides the sweetness in it. Interestingly, it is the males who have to sweat-out n cultivate the harvest that finally yields it. To recognize the point with clarity, consider the gushes below.

"That dress fits you fabulously.."
"The food you cooked today was simply great!"
"You are looking extremely gorgeous tonight".
"How was it?"
....

Fashion means more than just Lip Rouge, Powder Puff, and Blushtones. Fundamentally, its the beauty in its entirety; including behavioral charm. To interprete the cliche "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder" - it simply means that every single female on earth is beautiful (as long as they are able to find a male to certify it). And as you would also realize, feminine fashion does lead to the generation of fructose as well.

finally, Fun is the motivator among these 3 constitutive elements. In other words, it is the means as well as the end. From enjoying a cartoon clip with younger brother, a bit of shakin' in a discotheque with boyfriend, cooking a delicious dish to enjoy with husband, ... all lead to fun.

You would agree from above that the lives of females and males are inseparable. Marriage only serves as an avenue that further brings them closer to each other. Its that once-in-a-lifetime moment which promises a homely life ahead.

>> The article secured publication in March 01, 2005 (Issue #2) of The Persistent Mirage: A Haven for Poets and Thinkers


comments

Laida Asma
Puy de Dôme, Clermont-Ferrand, France
It's a good work!!! I think today a lot of persons prefer to get married with someone who is very rich, in a good social position, has high education, works in big organization...and many of them want to earn money very quikly so they get married (some girls do that)...
But i think, there are also some persons who want to find the veritable and right love!!! I have an impression that you are a very romantic man!
isn't it?

Steve Luxenberg
Assistant Managing Editor, Sunday Outlook, The Washington Post, USA
I enjoyed reading your piece, as well as looking at your handsomely-done site!

Bijilu Sandra
Indian Institute of Journalism, Bangalore, India
Don't u think u are a little biased towards girls? Hmmmm.. guess it was only written as a light piece. Oh!! come on.. I am not a feminist.

Terrie Leigh Relf
“The Mistress of Rhetoric” columnist for The Espresso, San Diego, CA, USA
I enjoyed reading this, and I must say that your blog resembles an online magazine. Nice set-up!

Erik Loren Snyder
Engineer, Austin, USA
Oh my gawd you are a sappy sentimentalist. Oh.. wait, Valentine's day is next week and you are trying to impress a girl!Well, I pretty much have to agree with your assessment of girls. They need constant reassurance, money, and more money. Then the kids arrive and the extortion racket really kicks into high gear!!

Lilek Vasilek
State Pedagogical University, Russia
I like it very much! Teenage boys and girls usually have one and the same problems; I think they're afraid of many things that can't be understood by their parents, their friends, opposite sex. Like they're afraid to be left alone and to live the whole life by themselves without anybody by their side. I think some children marry early without thinking about the fact that people must have mutual understanding and support; only liking each other is not enough. You said right that after marriage, when the two get to know each other better they begin to fulfil their duties about the house. Though the first 2 or 3 years are difficult! Later I think it becomes kinda like a routine where they're accustomed to each other that they can't imagine their lives without each other. Of course, then they have something that connects them in their life - their children.

Bryon D. Howell
Editor-in-Chief, The Persistent Mirage, USA
Great work!

Subbu, author
Feb 2005
Life is fun!
Everyone walks through different stages in his/her life. Among those, the transition stage from carefree youth to more sincere maturity holds particular intrigue. For Asians, this is marked by marriage.
Being a male, I tend to observe the feminine gender more!
Hence, the article.. enjoy!!