Late-Laloo says never-say-die

introduction...


The evergreen lampoon is dogmatic as ever about his "lalwaayi"...

From publicly wrecking his political rivals to playing the never-ending gimmicks on camera... he keeps whistling his trains.

wu bihari mein kahate hain na... "Laloo jaaye per lalwaayi na jaayi".

- Subbu, author
Nov 2004


>> The piece got published titled as "Laloo Laloo" in November issue of Voice Of Asia published in print from Chicago, IL, USA

>> It also secured publication in www.indiainfo.com on 11/02 titled as "A time in future - Laloo as tourist attraction!"




Late-Laloo says never-say-die


Who says India lacks the appeal to draw international tourists? Among several other things, there's pyara Laloo. Yes, I'm talking about the pseudo-Chief Minister of The Kingdom of Bihar.

Let's consider a time in the future (hopefully not too distant) when the glorious glimpses of the life of late-Laloo have been added to the annals of history in golden or sunahrey words. The clever Tourism Minster then, has done this on purpose.

In memory of the late-minister, a huge statue of Laloo, some 100 odd feet high, carved out in pure white marble and put right in the center of the erstwhile capital city of Patna, is erected. True to his image, live cattle with fodder have been let loose around the enclosed perimeter of this effigy. Also, special (white) dhoti-kurta clad guards wearing neta-type white topi and carrying AK-47s are present to "protect" the statue and/or the cattle with their fodder and/or the visiting international tourists.

Joining hands with the Tourism Minister, the then Railway Minister decides to add a special train, of the order of Palace on Wheels, to bring tourists right to this spot without any hassles from the 5* hotels of Patna. To add to their experience, tea/coffee/lassi/vodka all are served in special earthen kulhads on this train.

The vibrancy of the spot is enhanced several times by the non-stop audio, of course played @ high decibels, reminiscing the taped speeches and journalistic responses or bakbak by burhbak, both edited and the non-edited ones, of the internationally acclaimed minister.

In no time does the place become so popular that people from far far away get attracted to it. Among several others, there is the Sultan of Brunei and a not-so-popular peasant from Cuba. Both however, are required to pay the same extra-fees aka. ghoos to enter the compounds of this landmark. Upon entry, both are freely-allowed to tan in the bright sunlight within the compounds of the statue; wearing as many clothes as they want, if at all! and, as expected, the foreigners do not mind being in 'such-a-state' amidst the ogling eyes of the local people. Of course, touring females are also allowed inside.

The residents of Patna are very happy to find their luck personified i.e. to see n meet firangi chaps of all shape, size, colour, sex, and what not. Not-to-forget-to-mention, the visitors are gracefully offered the local favorite drink chanchh for free.

The administrators of The Kingdom of Bihar are finally happy to find that they can after all accomplish something in the not-so-common-and-cared-for category of public-service.

Also as anticipated, the Reserve Bank of India at the national level, gleefully pounds with both hands on the variety of foreign currency pouring in. Its coffers start filling up like anything.

However, not everyone gets to enjoy the goodies out of this. My heart goes out to the poor big black crows who were routed out of the place by the Ministry to save any droppings of embarrassment (on the statue).

How many countries in the entire world do you think can boast of such a renowned figure?

May God Bless India. and of course, The Kingdom of Bihar, for that matter.



comments


bahut likh diye ho lallo jee ke bare me ... abhi next priminister wahi banne wala hai !!
- Rajan, Patna


Its really funny..
- Anu, Bangalore


To be frank, your article didn't tickle my funny bone.
- Amit, Ass Editor, Just Another Magazine, Mumbai


Glorious exaggeration!!!!
- Johnson, Trivandrum


Read it. Idon't really have much of an opinion on it. Doesn't do anything in particular for me. Many people write about him.. there's programs on TV (particularly NDTV) that make fun of his every move... Nothing new. If you're asking me about writing style, then, well, it's conventional. Will appeal to older people. and well.. for a second article, it's certainly not bad.
- Mala Bhargava, Editor, Cyber Media Publications, India


Its good!
- Janani, Chennai


I have just read your article about"LALOO" and I can say that it is more interesting than the previous one that I read.I confess that I read it for several times because it was rather difficult to understand it;anyway I managed to cope with it.Having read this article I got to know about some places of interest other than magnicifient Taj-Mahal.I;ve also read your thesis about India.I am not agree with you on the point that places of interest in India attracts only dogs.But I can surprise you that the word "woman"is also a synonym to the word"housewife"in Russia,especially in our republic.And returning to your previous article about America and the comments on it I want to say that I share the views of student from Poland and Natalia Kulikova from Russia,who said that the americans haven't got there own culture.thank you very much for your articles!It seems to me that I get to know your country better!
- Lilek Vasilek, Pedagogics, Russia